As I open this chapter of my life to pubic view … that was a Freudian slip but I don’t care it all goes in … it feels like a scene from a movie, the curtain pulled aside, me, in noir and blanc, peeing down at the street. When the woman getting out of the cab looked up the moment was eternal. An instant can be part of the linear flow or it can separate off into its own file, as that one did.
She was an estrogen woman, like a pillow you lay your head on and you just…
Author notes on the Secret Journals of a Lay Psychiatrist
The In Session pieces are written as “routines.” Most are comedy routines but not all of them. An update: the woman who hooked up with a pit bull at an outdoor cafe is facing up to her role as rescuer. In the second one, I invented an impossible genitalia to satirize narcissism. There are some things you can’t unsee. Like farmers playing squat tag in the asparagus. …
“Very few people realise that sex is a psychic and not a physical act. The clumsy coupling of human beings is simply a biological paraphrase of this truth — a primitive method of introducing minds to each other, engaging them. But most people are stuck in the physical aspect, unaware of the poetic rapport which it so clumsily tries to teach.”
― Lawrence Durrell, Balthazar
Last night I looked at myself in the mirror and saw what other people see, the massive body of an American Man. You ask an Asian man to draw himself and his woman, and the…
Sometimes I think about an unlived life, where I’m not the size of a bear. I guess every few generations a Scotch Irish family gets an atavism like me, who likes the aria from Madame Butterfly while high on ecstasy, and then goes in the ring and bodyslams a horse. Not the next day maybe but the day after that. Since I’ve been sharing my secret journals I don’t get hate mail so much as WTF? mail. People are puzzled. Here’s one now:
“Fuck you Layman, for body slamming horses. And that piece you did on Clit was a hit…
“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.”
― Groucho Marx
I was watching an MSNBC segment just now and shut it off. There was a clip about a woman calling for the impeachment of Joe Biden, and I thought, of course she is. It’s the equivalent of a desperate comedian farting into the microphone to try and get a laugh. I saw a vague television image of piranhas eating meat and knew this would connect with the flow of events. …
The best medical hypnotist of his time, the late Milton Erickson, changed my life with one observeration: "The meaning of any communication is the response it gets. There is no other meaning. The impression that there is other meaning is in your head and is not part of the communication." Shifting the foundation away from whether structures in our head are true or false, to what gets us the response we want, dispells the illusion that what is in our heads should likewise be in other people's heads. The mental structures are malleable; the response comes first, and the meaning…
I was gesticulating with my right hand as I spoke, playing with perspective, crushing his — or her — head like a grape, using just my fingers in the air. This person was a well known cross dresser, red lipped and with mascaraed almond eyes. The hair was gathered back in a bun and a large hatpin was stuck into it like an elven sword.
I’m a professional wrestler, big as a bodyguard in Harlem. We are like a different race of people, bigger and stronger than other people, so we have to be non threatening with them. “I have…
Used to be, an election was to choose our path
behind a leader who emerged from simple math.
They get behind for a different reason now,
the cut worm forgives the plow, the Word forgives the sword,
music and dancing are as low as you can go in their camp
where the prophesy has been written on a rubber stamp.
They killed the musicians for making sweet sounds
sweetness drowns in the tension of hatred.
A maitre de at a French cafe couldn’t slay the arrogance
of heaven as an expensive whorehouse. Do they not know
this was thought of…
“Behind your thoughts and feelings, my brother, there is a mighty lord, an unknown sage- it is called Self; it dwells in your body, it is your body.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra
Maybe you’ve had it happen, too, that you are moving with a purpose which is not known to you. Something more authoritative has taken over and you are without the illusion of agency. That was how it felt. I was reading classic literature in my twenties. I was going through the stacks an author at a time. …
Riding into Tamaghis, Ray Johnson saw a Portuguese
woman kneeling by a soldier’s body.
Her daughter was just six years old but she kept watch while her mama stole
that soldier’s ring and forty-seven dollars.
Ray tipped his hat and he half-smiled
on the side of his face turned to the child
and the other side it photographed the mother.
(Poppy Trail, a ballad, by author)
Last week I began writing about the Johnson Family. Always in the back of my mind there has been, “The Johnson Family Bible,” composed of stories about good people in difficult situations. As in…